Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Holy Pants

Sometimes, Sunday school isn't as boring as it seems. Especially when those SEAMS seem to come un-seamed…
Have you ever experienced that horrible moment when you bend down, your slacks aren't really that slack-y, and suddenly your worst fear becomes a reality when you hear the most horrible sound:  A loud, long riiipppp right up to your back belt loop? Okay, it wasn't that bad - or so he claims.
Brother Nelson was magnifying his calling as second counselor in the Sunday school presidency by bending down to plug in the microphone when it happened. Horrified after hearing the damage, he slowly twisted around while still squatting to face his audience, worried someone had caught an eye-full. He continued to test the microphone - no sound. His face was hot, and the sweat was beginning to pour. Knowing he had to test the next microphone jack, he shuffled to the other side of the room. He slid behind the chalkboard and nonchalantly reached back to assess the 7 inch newly-formed hole in his pants. Realizing the microphone wasn't even on (fortunately for him - you know how those church mics pick up sound...), he causally pulled off his suit coat, drew it over the drafty spot, and made a run for the door.
Not 5 minutes later, his dad, who wondered where he'd gone in such a hurry, received a picture message while in that same Sunday school class that read, "Epic fail. Brb. ”  Head between his ankles in front of our full-body mirror, my husband decided to document the aftermath and then spread the joy.
Luckily, Jaren kept our house keys with him that day - he usually puts them in my primary bag. Can you imagine how much better the story would have been if he was forced to come to the front of the primary room and walk past 30 tell-all little children with a 7 inch gap in the bum of his church pants!?
When I was about 10 years old, I had an extremely comfortable pair of black stretchy pants that went with everything. They had huge holes in the knees and were my absolute FAV and I just couldn't bring myself to throw them away. My dad would say, "those pants are so hole-y, you could wear them to church!" You better believe I thought about it a time or two..
Jaren's pants were definitely hole-y. The best part about his story is hearing it straight from the horse's mouth. Jaren can be pretty dang hilarious, and he had his mother and I practically rolling with laughter. He's such a good sport! Thanks for making me laugh out loud every single day. Life would be so boring without you!!
And a special thanks to the BYU seamstress who said "All the way up the CROTCH!?" while fixing them. That was the icing on the cake. :)

************************UPDATE! as of November 19****************************
A little advice from the mister: Don't go and split your pants in Sunday school - because they might ask you to be the main act; only a short week later. I LAUGHED SO HARD. Jaren was sworn in as the new Sunday School President yesterday. Welp, here we go :)

1 comment :

  1. Is that your Villa Alemana suit? That would explain it....